The Hidden power of Reaction
In the Pause between the Stimulus and Response lies the freedom of choice.
I have heard this, believed it and championed it for many years.
And..
To be honest, I have seen this behvaiour with, myself and many close ones….There is a PAUSE ….and then, after that pause …it’s still the same “reaction”. We have just added one more step to the pattern..the Pause
and also, are we FREE to use this freedom to choose?
And So…, as I contemplated on this… Pause?? I had many questions..
Was pause then…just Silence ..withheld?? Was pause a strategy? Was pause a fancy word for freeze? Was pause a way to ..be smart about how to react? Was pause ..an Action…of not acting? Was pause a way of controlling?
What did happen..in the pause? Or what was a healthy…wise .FREE Pause
I had to pause — the pausing ..
(If you have to pause to just take in all the …Pauses…go head )
It was a bit like putting my own pause under magnifying x-ray slow motion video .
Phew !!!!
It went through three stages…
Stage one:
The Pause was..solid …tight…contracted, proud and certain.
breath held and nostrils flaring
I was quiet..but there was no sign of Silence
I looked like a bull held back at the gates of a bull fight arena..
The matador ..with the RED flag was my trigger…and it kept instigating me
It was — outside of me..
Stage two:
The Pause …was liquidy …salty..confused..uncertain
There was pain..it was real and hot and white
I experienced ..falling into..spurts of silence, after exhaustion.
It brought up many memories of the same trigger..
The matador ..now with a white flag was inside me..
Telling me to give up the fight.
Stage three
The Pause was .. Still ..expanded…present…knowing.
There was grief … and it was good…
Its salty waters were healing, like that of the ocean
The Matador ..was me…and we hugged.
I was crying..for having abandoned me.
In this Pause..the Reaction brought clarity.
What reacted, was another “separated” part…the Matador.. that just wanted to be hugged.
I realized, I didn’t have to “repress” my reaction — I just didn’t need to act it OUT.
I could use it and see it as an opportunity for Clarity (of who I though I was NOT), for dissolving, yet another separation.
“Reaction has the potential for Deeper Freedom”
If a Pause can be used as a holy container for the reaction to transform, it can be alchemical. If not, we will continue to add to the already existing Violence..and seperation by continuing to “other”.
I understand what the Course in Miracles refers to as the Holy Instant.
